ME & HONEY

This might seem a little silly or that I am going overboard. But, sometimes I guess we just don't know how life events will effect us until they do. We have two cat's both of them orange tabby's one with short hair named Honey and one with long hair named Kitten. Both of them have been really good cat's except for the occasional scratching of the furniture. Well, we had a flea problem a couple of months back, maybe not even that long. Todd and I both came unglued and I mean unglued, as we have never had a problem before. I felt like throwing a match to the place, and driving to a new house with new things. However, we calmed down and took care of the problem part of which was to put the cat's out and not let them back in till the problem was gone. Now, keep in mind the cats are indoor/outdoor, and we pretty much let them go back and forth freely. Though they did spend most of their time in the house. Of course this was very difficult for them at first but after awile they somewhat got the drift, they would still try to sneak in occasionally. I of course I was begging Todd to let them back in but he just kept saying just a little longer, and if you want my real opinion I think he kind of liked it and had worked in not saying he doesn't like the cat's because he does. Both cat's keep pretty much to our yard when they are outside either back or front, Kitten mostly in the back since he and the dog are great friends, Honey not so much. So now you Know the background, I saw both cat's several times a day so I felt at peace that they were all right but then in the last week I started seeing less and less of Honey, I mentioned this to Todd who said oh I have seen him. Then on Wednesday we hadn't seen him since the day before we were looking around when Todd heard meowing coming from next door, he went over there and indeed Honey was somehow trapped in their shed, and ran off before Todd could get him, not a good sign. The next day Thursday, I had not seen him all day the whole family proceeded to look everwhere and Katie and I went around the block yelling his name because he ALWAYS comes to it, but nothing. I told Todd I have a really bad feeling about this. Friday when Todd got home the kids next door said we hear some meowing, Todd followed the meows and sure enough it was Honey in their boat under the cover. Blake and Katie come running in "Mommy we found Honey"! But what Todd brought in was far from our normal Honey. He was meowing repeatedly and loud like I had never heard him before. Todd took him out to the garage and laid him on a blanket and he just laid there not moving just meowing. Of course a million scenerios went through our heads, hit by car, cat fight, etc. checked his legs they seemed fine, still he wouldn't walk, eat or drink, only the haunting meowing. So without delay off to the vet we go, I drove and Todd actually set in the back next the carrier with Blake on the other side, thankfully Katie had gone to Mom's. We were left to our own thoughts on the way.... We get there fill out papers etc., put into a room and waited for the Dr. , she comes in and seems very nice and concerned and right off I like her feel. We take Honey out of the carrier, tell her the story of what happened as she writes everything down. She begins to exam Honey by first having me put him on the floor where he doesn't move an inch. Back to the table were she does a full exam with a look of horror on her face and says " you have a VERY VERY sick cat here, we are going to have to get her into the hospital for blood work, x-rays, iv fluids etc. and he will need to stay at least 4 days. She then describes what's happening of course I will never be able to repeat it, but along the lines of his liver was shutting down, she showed me and it is just the same as when a baby gets jaundice. The inside of his ears were yellow, his skin and his gums. You could feel his spine and felt like skin and bones. She said he hadn't probably ate or drank in days and was living off fat etc. She said she didn't know exactly the cause but probably a trauma/change in routine, I told her about making them go out on the flea pop and she said most likely that was it. I asked if he was in pain and she sais yes tremendous pain. We asked how much the hospital pop would cost she said for a couple of days at least $1,000.00 and don't forget she said more like 4. Also she informed us that she had no idea if he would survive even after all that. I (yes me) asked if she would put him down just as an option, she said yes she would. Then left the room for us to talk about it, this whole time Honey had his head burrowed into me and I am petting him telling him"it's gonna be ok" , if I even take my hand off he starts with the meowing again. We hashed it, Todd left for a smoke and told me to make the decision (gee thanks, the one time I don't want to). When he came back I told him I had decided to put him down, which just as a tip was a nightmare decision to make. I had several reasons for making the decisions, cost, no gaurante (sp), his Mom would of flipped out on why we were wasting our money like, and others... So we told her our decision and asked if I could stay in the room with him to help calm him while it was happening, she said yes for an extra $30.00 I said fine. The feeling of doom and gloom in the room was sufficating. I felt horrible, like my name might as well be cat killer. They took him out to put the catheter in and then brought him back where we said our goodbyes, I told him he was going to go to kitty heaven now, I hope there really is one! I lay close to his face petting him and whispering in his ear as she shot the killing potion into him and after a couple minutes she wanted to listen to his heart and she looked at me and nodded to tell me yes hes gone, the little light in him that had given me hundereds of hours of joy was out. I burst into tears, Todd had a few tears of his own. we left quickly as I had to get out of there! I wondered if we did the right thing but I think we did! They asked if we wanted his ashes but I told them to put them with rest of the animals. I love you Honey, you were a good kitty!
PS. To top it off I still have to tell the kids, Um Hello Who wants to be me tonight? Of course I am not telling the true story "your moms a cat killer" will just say he was very sick the gave him medicine but he still died.