You would think I would be happy that the school year is coming to an end, but I am not! Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to lazy summer days with the kids! But, at the moment all I am able to dwell on is the kids getting older. I already miss my babies! Blake will be in first grade, and somehow that moves him out of the newborn/innocent/awe and wonder stage of kindergarten! Katie will be moving up to fourth grade, and will be an "upper" grader! I look at them and want time to stand still. We thought we would so happy when they were a little older and self sufficient, and felt as though the day would never come, now it's here and I wish it weren't! I know alot of it is knowing Blake is my last. I wonder what kind of job I have done, have I layed a good foundation? When I think and ponder, I see and feel all the many things I wanted to do and be and haven't been! I wish I could call out "DO OVER PLEASE", but of course I can't. I try to look forward and move on from here but I am stuck with "should of, could of, would of". Perhaps part of it may be my age too, let's face it I am ancient :) To be honest though turning 40 has been a HUGE deal for me. My point in writing this wasn't for sympathy or people telling me your a great mom Donna. Because it is what it is.... On a lighter note sorry I haven't written in so long, it just seems all I really have to say is depressing and better left unsaid. I have enjoyed everyone's posts and I have read them all whether I comment or not, guess I am just too lazy sometimes. That's it for now, Love to All Donna
PS Yes, I know there is still a billion memories to make as the kids grow, it's just so hard at the moment.
PATRIOTIC DECOR!
5 years ago
If there is anyone who can identify Donna it's me....For some reason I too am always looking back at what was (even if it is nothing big) and dwelling on things wondering if something could/should have been different, or better...I think it's just what "some" mom's do...BUT (I have to tell you my most recent discoveries on this issue) I have learned to DWELL more in the moment or the present and savor and linger over every moment on hand, because they all PASS....some more quickly than others...and it's all in whose perspective you look at things from....TO ME, your kids ARE STILL babies, haha...Blake, especially. But even really Katie...you are fully in the WONDER years, as I called them....Blake still little enough to crawl up on your lap and cuddle and love and look at life through the eyes of a REALLY young child. And Katie is JUST STARTING into the world of constant girl friends, and stay overs, and really being old enough to honestly talk to about soooo many things. All her "teen" things like boys, and dances, and shopping, and more and more "girl" events still lie a few more years into the future....she is at a truly wonderous age to enjoy as well. I REALLY REALLY miss Mel at this age....ENJOY IT.....SAVOR IT.....LINGER ON IT.....because as you see it goes fast....someday you will be ME looking back....but that's my point (for me I've finding out) if I look back too much missing what was, I miss what IS....and this is a fun stage too. All my grand kids are sooo little and sweet and fun, (and yet when I get tired I go to bed and sleep peacefully through the night and their parents have to take them home and "WORK" them haha) and all my kids have turned into adults that I can't get enough of. And someday (if I'm lucky) I'll be mom and watching my GRAND KIDS work kids. There is always (again if we are lucky) little ones in our life to enjoy. Life is really pretty wonderful whatever stage we are at when you have been blessed with kids like we have.....Hope this didn't sound lecturish or droning, I'm just always trying to "help" someone with my life's experiences...being my age has to be worth something right?? haha Anyway, that's it for now....Love you Spin
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I LOVED your post....It was sooo up my alley. I love hashing topics like this...how we are thinking or feeling....write more...post pics....some day your kids can look back at these and they will be like a diary....just like I've told my kids, it's glimpses into some one's life that you don't get to "see" otherwise...and the pics finish them off. If you can't work it, I can walk you through in a min. It's really easy (or I wouldn't be on it. haha) I want to see some pics of Blake's games, and how Katie will look on her last day of school....OK, this is really it....have a good day...
ReplyDeleteReally nothing left to say as Deb has said it all. You are in the WONDER years and have soooooo much time left with your kids at home. Take it from a seasoned veteran, time does fly by, so enjoy it all. Don't dwell on what you have don't done in the past, decide to do things differnly today. There is still a LOT of time left to do all the things the way you want to. You have happy beautiful kids, so you must be doing some things right.
ReplyDeletehey donna! it was so good to see you on saturday!! i have really missed you. i have no words of wisdom to offer, but i can greatly empathize with dwelling on could have should have and know that no good comes of it. it is what is and every moment we have is precious. i, too, am going to try and blog more although i really feel i have nothing interesting to say.
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